WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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