Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
