Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
