I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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