doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
