ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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