I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
True strength comes from lack of pants
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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