wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
