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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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