So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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