I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
