Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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