I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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