Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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