I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
