Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
