I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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