We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
