there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
