The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
