I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
