I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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