11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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