so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
