went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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