Barsexuality is the new black.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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