question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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