Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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