He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
