The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
