Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Hippo gnu deer
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
