yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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