a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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