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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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