so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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