But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
