your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
