I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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