My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
