My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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