Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
