The brown eye won't let me do that either.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
