We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
