i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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