The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
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