Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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