No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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