yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
