i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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