I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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