At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
